Category — life's meaning

Life will never go easy on anyone… True as it is, I can still say life is beautiful. Why? Let me tell you a story that my father and I created as we we’re talking about life during my teen age years. My father may have a different version of it now, if he were to tell the story– but allow me to tell you my version. Here is how the story goes:

Once, there stood a magnificent and mighty tree in a midst of a thick forest. So vibrant and lush was this tree, that whoever saw it, adored it. Even the kings and the nobles admired it’s grandeur. It’s resident leaves however, appear to be dominated by another feeling–a feeling that consumed them daily–the fear of “the fall”. “We are clinging to the mightiest tree ever there was in the entire forest” said one leaf, “Let’s live our lives selfishly and indulge every moment of it, worrying about nothing but ourselves.”

As a result, it was a chaotic world.

While they were consoling themselves with such words, unknown to anyone, the tree budded a new leaf. Unobserved, the new leaf was the picture of innocence. Unsophisticated and unworldly, the new leafWhile they were consoling themselves with such words, unknown to everyone, the tree budded a new leaf. Unobserved, the new leaf was a picture of innocence. Unsophisticated and unworldly, he was a picture of naivete. At the heart of a crowded tree, a new life was born that day.

After a few days had passed the young leaf became conscious of his surroundings. One early morning he was awakened by a disturbing sound–a sound of a worm munching another leaf just beneath him. It was a horrible scene. “I had one of those things on me one time,” said a voice beside him. The new leaf glanced and saw a malformed leaf, so horrifying that he could not bare to look upon it, “Thank goodness a bird came and swallowed it,” the deformed leaf continued, “Keep an eye on those things, they’re beasts, they’ll show you no mercy.” Then the deformed leaf said nothing more. While he was left startled by the scene he had just witnessed, the young leaf noticed just slightly above him, a leaf with a different color, pale and brownish. It was a leaf completely drained of his youth.

Then without warning, a deafening CRACK filled the air–down came the brownish leaf, never to be seen again, detached from the mighty tree to a place no one knew of. The young leaf turned to the deformed leaf and asked, “What happened to that brown leaf?”

“That is the final destiny of everyone here. We call it “the fall” everyone here is afraid of “the fall.” answered the deformed leaf. Shocked and speechless, the young leaf didn’t know what hit him, he was baffled.

For days the young leaf spoke to no one. Then finally he said, “From now on I will mind no one and care for no one. Life is unfair and has no beauty. Bad things will happen anyway, no matter what. I will live my life selfishly and indulge every moment of it, worrying about nothing but myself.”– And that’s exactly what he did from that day forward.

Years passed, and then one particular day he noticed his color was turning. “No, not me!” he pleaded with no one in particular, as he remembered “the fall.” Suddenly he was stricken with great terror. Day after day right before his eyes, his color faded and he became filled with great fear. Day after day there was more anxiety, until eventually he heard it again, CRACK! and the dreaded day happened to him,”the fall,” down came the once young leaf.

Slowly the wind took him further and further, gradually he began to see the entire tree where he once had lived. Beautiful and splendid, the tree stood in all it’s glory. “Wow…” was the only word he could utter. A delayed admiration underlying a regretful ending.

“Why didn’t I enjoy my time here while I was a part of that beautiful tree? Why was I engrossed with fear of ‘the fall?’  Why was I so absorbed with worry that it choked the very life out of me?” asked the leaf.

…end of story.

It is undeniable, yes, that life is full of negative things, but how you handle them makes all the difference.

I had a rather unpleasant childhood myself, however, given the chance to relive my life, I would still choose to be born the way I was because those negative experiences led me to look at things rather differently–to better sympathize with people in pain and also compels me to help others rather than withdraw. For in the process of walking an extra mile, I am finding healing for myself…

Jaurlando Urot is a freelance writer who resides in the Philippines. Although he has gone through some health trials (and survived a difficult childhood), he keeps a positive outlook on life and reaches out to others in a positive way. His belief is to leave a legacy of hope and goodwill every day. Life is not just a gift, but an opportunity. Read more of Jaurlando’s writing on his “Life’s a Journey” blog.

Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them. — Alan Watts.

I was reading a blog post by one of my favorite writers. He practices Zen Buddhism, which I do not, but talk about inspiring. This man really knows how to value life and to savor the richness of each moment that has been given to us.

He asks this question, “How often have you eaten a meal and not really tasted it or driven somewhere without even remembering how you got there?”

Our days often pass us by while our minds are elsewhere.

One of my favorite methods of finding happiness and preventing stress is living in the moment — It’s one of the foundations of Zen Buddhism, but it’s not necessarily meditation — it’s more the decision to become aware of your actions and thoughts, and what your senses bring in, in your every day routine.

No one actually lives in the moment all the time — I don’t think it’s possible. Some, with practice, can learn to live in the moment for longer than most of us, but there will always be times when you’re worried about the future or thinking about the past, and forget to be ‘in the moment.’

It’s actually pretty hard, if you give it a try. Test it out right now: close your eyes (after reading these instructions first), and concentrate on your breathing — the sensation of the air as it enters your nose or mouth and fills your lungs, and as it goes out again. If other thoughts come up, be aware of them, acknowledge them, let them go (but don’t try to force them away) and then return your focus to your breathing.

It’s hard, isn’t it? Being in the moment isn’t as easy as it sounds.

It takes practice. But it can be achieved at times. To help inspire you to live in the moment, here are some great examples:

1. Cats. My cat lives in the moment. He’ll stealthily stalk an insect or lizard, as if he’s hidden in tall grass on the savanna, and then he pounces and attacks. You know he’s not thinking about what he had for breakfast or what furniture needs to be shredded later in the day. Cats (and other animals) are all about the Now. Be like a cat.
2. Yourself, lost in something. You’ve been in the moment plenty of times. Can you remember a time when you lost yourself in a task? Not lost in thought, but lost in the doing of the task itself — you were concentrating fully, you thought of nothing else. The world disappeared. It might have been work — you might have achieved that state of mind known as “flow” — or it could have been a hobby, playing sports, yardwork, fixing something, anything. Try to remember a time like that, and replicate it.
3. The immediate sensation or smell of something that takes you away. Remember how you love the smell of rain, or freshly cut grass? Think about the fact that you are a free spirit and you enjoy every moment to the fullest. Whenever you encounter a ‘now moment’, live in it…let it envelop you. Believe me, it will be worth whatever you are giving up at the time.
4. Naps and snuggling. Don’t underestimate the power of laziness. It is a sign that your body really needs regeneration. Give yourself over to the fact that you need to walk away from your deadlines. Sleep in…rest, snuggle in bed with the one you love. You will be much more productive in the long run.

Practice living the simple life. Don’t let the business of life suck you dry. There must be balance in order for you to truly prosper in your mind, emotions, spirit, and being. We only pass through here once. Isn’t it best to pass through with complete awareness and enjoyment?

This article, although altered slightly by myself, must be credited to one of my favorite writers, Leo Babauta. His website, entitled Zen Habits is one that I turn to often for ideas on destressing my thoughts and my life.

I’m tired of shallow people who find some sort of sick sense of self worth by the material possessions they have accumulated. I like to live a simple life. My goal has always been to escape materialism.

Western ideology and it’s ever prevalent way of thinking that “money can’t buy you happiness, but I’d sure like to try” is old, worn out, and really should be over by now. People don’t have caring and meaningful lives, they have caring and meaningful moments where they do something fairly good for another human being and pat themselves on the back for a job well done for weeks to come.

I like to work at the soup kitchen. I like to bring my teenage daughters. They get into it. But here’s the catch…they don’t get into it because they feel like they are doing some sort of “humanitarian volunteer work” that gives them brownie points with karma or the powers that be…. They like it because the people who come to eat at the soup kitchen are interesting to talk to, polite, and generally nice people who we like to be around.

Once, when I was discussing the soup kitchen thing with my step-daughter who is 8, she just didn’t get it. Maybe one day she will, but since she spends half of her time with another set of parents who place value on i-phones, coach purses, and every designer brand of clothes humanly possible, it doesn’t sink in for her yet. I feel bad for her. She told me that she wanted to work at the soup kitchen with us because it would be fun. She then went on to explain that she had recently seen a homeless….”er, um, less fortunate” person sleeping in a park. Yes, she corrected herself to say, “less fortunate”…..that must have been her mother’s coaching. It made me laugh inside though as I pondered the reality of who the less fortunate of western society really are? In my opinion, they are the shallow individuals who use shopping as therapy and a replacement for human contact.

I’d rather hug someone who slept outside last night then look at another plastic person in the mall asking me if she can spray me with the latest hundred dollar perfume sample. Yes, and while you’re at it, spray yourself in the eyes so you can actually FEEL something today that isn’t part of a sad, matrix-like, existence. Ok, well I’m sounding rather bitter now, and actually I feel sorry for the plastic girl with the perfume samples. She has no idea that her life is eroding and wasting away around her meaningless existence. But her fake smile is very, very, red and shiny…so maybe that’s a plus.

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The first full moon of 2009, occurred tonight. They say it is the largest and brightest of the year.

I wish I would have known about this emotional spectacle before embarking on my day today. Along with the range of emotions individuals experience during full moons, this particular one is said to be in the moody, nurturing Cancer, which triggers our deep desire for family bonds and safety.

Full moons, at least for the girls in my family (I have two teenage daughters) dump emotional buckets, and Cancer is the most known for this weepy, melancholy state.

That piece of information would have been quite useful when I drove my daughter to surprise her with a hair cut on the day after her birthday and she sat in the back seat of the car having a complete breakdown, crying hysterically because her (less than nurturing birth father) did not call or write to wish her a happy day. Mascara running down her face, I hugged her and tried to help the moment pass.

After the hair cut, we enjoyed lunch together. Our topic of conversation went from the fact that my 15 year old daughter was upset because she didn’t know what career path she wanted to choose, and nothing seemed particularly meaningful, to the fact that she didn’t have names for her children picked out yet….(no she’s not pregnant and does not have children)… It got better… Faith again cried because she wanted to spend more time with me than she does and she wants to be my little girl (she just turned 14). I did in fact make a mental note to be more available for her from this point on.

Then, both daughters discussed (in my presence) exactly WHO was going to walk them down the aisle someday because they felt their father did not deserve this honor….Oh, and as an added bonus, my 15 year old (Holly) confided in me that the reason she hasn’t dated more than one person as of yet is because “what’s the point?”…. Confused, I asked her to explain…. “Well, it’s like you always said mommy, if you really can’t see yourself marrying this person someday…I mean, if you don’t think it could ever amount to anything, then why date. It’s kind of a waste of time.” At that one moment, I felt, more proud than I have in years. Yes, I am a good mother. I have made mistakes, but I have instilled in my children some quirky yet unique thought processes.

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I was born in Augusta, Ga, certainly not a unique entry point for my involuntary thrust into existence. Although I have no recollection of my pre-corporeal configuration, I like to imagine myself reading a blank newspaper in God’s waiting room. While attentively listening to His loudspeaker, I eagerly anticipate the calling of my lottery ticket. “Number 4,353,927,592,727”. I drop my imaginary newspaper and rejoice in my selection. My time has finally come. A collective sigh is let out by the multitudes of “souls” whose tickets have yet to be validated. Unfortunately this mysterious  transfiguration does not come with a manual. I had no teleological conference with God, no adjustment period, nor any move out inspection. In fact I do not even re-call purchasing the lottery ticket. I am simply thrown into existence at a seemingly arbitrary location in the Southeast of United States. “Looking back”,  it seems clear to me that this memory is no doubt an illusion.  Admittedly, I didn’t even possess the neurological faculties to construct memory at this nascent stage of my existence.
So what am I, now a young man, to make of this vague confusion. A few simple questions undoubtedly arise. Why then? Why there? And most importantly why me? Of course trying to ascribe any anthropomorphic emotions and ideas, (i.e. purpose, doubt or confusion) to this period of life is futile, especially concerning the nature of  pre-existence. However because of the causality we enjoy and utilize so much in the human condition, I find myself nonetheless positing questions about this pre-natal experience. Does what happened to me before I am aware of my own existence have any effect on my life? The answer is seemingly obvious in that it must matter. For example, what if I were to develop an illness or defect during my birth? In fact what if I simply didn’t “make it”? However did such death really happen to ME? Or perhaps my death only existed in the consciousness of others?

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