Full Moon Reflections

The first full moon of 2009, occurred tonight. They say it is the largest and brightest of the year.

I wish I would have known about this emotional spectacle before embarking on my day today. Along with the range of emotions individuals experience during full moons, this particular one is said to be in the moody, nurturing Cancer, which triggers our deep desire for family bonds and safety.

Full moons, at least for the girls in my family (I have two teenage daughters) dump emotional buckets, and Cancer is the most known for this weepy, melancholy state.

That piece of information would have been quite useful when I drove my daughter to surprise her with a hair cut on the day after her birthday and she sat in the back seat of the car having a complete breakdown, crying hysterically because her (less than nurturing birth father) did not call or write to wish her a happy day. Mascara running down her face, I hugged her and tried to help the moment pass.

After the hair cut, we enjoyed lunch together. Our topic of conversation went from the fact that my 15 year old daughter was upset because she didn’t know what career path she wanted to choose, and nothing seemed particularly meaningful, to the fact that she didn’t have names for her children picked out yet….(no she’s not pregnant and does not have children)… It got better… Faith again cried because she wanted to spend more time with me than she does and she wants to be my little girl (she just turned 14). I did in fact make a mental note to be more available for her from this point on.

Then, both daughters discussed (in my presence) exactly WHO was going to walk them down the aisle someday because they felt their father did not deserve this honor….Oh, and as an added bonus, my 15 year old (Holly) confided in me that the reason she hasn’t dated more than one person as of yet is because “what’s the point?”…. Confused, I asked her to explain…. “Well, it’s like you always said mommy, if you really can’t see yourself marrying this person someday…I mean, if you don’t think it could ever amount to anything, then why date. It’s kind of a waste of time.” At that one moment, I felt, more proud than I have in years. Yes, I am a good mother. I have made mistakes, but I have instilled in my children some quirky yet unique thought processes.

We had an emotional day……..Oh moon, what did you do to us? But we hugged, we cried, we laughed, and we loved each other deeply today. So thank you dear moon….. As I’m sitting at my desk on the second floor of our home, my shutters and window is open, and occasionally as I write this….I glance up at the Capricorn moon and smile. I think she understands me.

The ebb and flow of our lives are unavoidable, but they certainly don’t have to be unenjoyable….

Oh I know the rest…Hard times are ahead and unpleasant realities of the economy would like to loom above us like a shroud of darkness. My rebellious nature won’t allow it. I believe these hard times will bring simpler times….back to basic times. My daughters rode bikes together when they came home.

We may be more vulnerable in the coming months, but I believe we will care more deeply, love more honestly, and appreciate the people that bind our lives together. The same things that threaten us, ironically become the ones that give our lives meaning….and THAT, dear friends, is something that has been lacking in many of our lives.

Prada bags, italian leather shoes, hundred dollar perfumes. These things don’t create depth of character. Maybe if the economy hits us so hard that all these things that only have “perceived value” disappear, it will be the savior of us all. One can only hope….but as I look up at that sly old moon, I get the feeling she knows something.

Goodnight moon…