Posts from — January 2009

Orienteering is the term used to describe a cross country race in which each participant uses a map and a compass to navigate to different reference points on a wilderness course. It is the ultimate test of map and compass reading skills. One wrong interpretation of your equipment or surroundings could result in miles of misguided steps. In fact, what may start out as a small error in judgment could eventually culminate into a huge expanse of separation between you and the right path.

If you veer off course by just one degree, each mile will get you 92 feet further away from the correct path. After five miles you will be 460 feet off course. And that’s just one degree off. The more degrees that you are off, the worse it gets. There is a price that every hiker pays for going wayward. Sometimes that price is wasted energy. Sometimes it’s two days without water. On some occasions it costs the ultimate price.

So how does this relate to society as a whole? I have my own reason. I like to call it the “slippery slope effect”.  Have you ever noticed how things seem so harmless at first but after a period of time, they end up terribly and regretfully wrong. Just as an example, let’s take a look at tv. Back in the days of I Love Lucy, married couples couldn’t be shown in bed together. At least one person had to have a foot touching the floor at all times. That soon became boring to everyone. And so it went–one, two, three degrees off course until I accidentally ran across an episode of Nip Tuck. One of the main characters was interviewing for a nanny (or maybe a housekeeper). His interview process included having her laying on the coffee table, legs in the air. Gee, I’m so glad I witnessed that. Most recently I flipped to a reality channel and accidentally watched a few moments of some sort of dating show called NEXT. It involved several young adults on a bus. They would come out one by one to experience a quick date with the bachelor or bachelorette waiting outside. Many times the person waiting outside the bus would take one look at the appearance of the person exiting the bus and say, “Next” right off the bat. Wow, way to instill an extra level of shallowness in the youth of today. As I continued to watch, a homosexual version of NEXT came on. Time to change the channel…

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The wonderful thing about Twitter
Is Twitter’s a wonderful thing…

Oh was that Tigger? Well, Twitter is a wonderful thing as well. Why?

Just because it makes me happy. I know, I know…That’s not very business-like or profound, but it’s true. I’ve scanned through countless articles of the deep truths of Twitter, how it can improve your business, your life, your neighbor’s life, and your overall productiveness and success.

I say sure…erm…okay, but I’m a simple girl with a simple life, and simple little thoughts are running around in my head right now. I don’t really know if having 30,000 followers will improve my business, my customer base or my pocketbook (by the way, lots of unexpected people have a huge following….MC Hammer is one), but I do know that Twitter makes me smile.

Yes, at times it is a nuisance as well as a distraction, but so is a puppy….but they make us happy, right? Right. Twitter, to me is just almost as exciting as curling up with a good book. With Twitter I can do the following wonderful things:

1. Create my own little world of individuals and listen to their random comments and rants. This is a far more beautiful thing than you may realize, because this means I am the king (or queen) of my own little world. I control the entire tone of my twitter experience. I am a writer…so I have filled my tweeting world with other writers, publishers, philosophers, Christians, and other thinking people. For diversity, I add a random and occasional rebel or screamo guitarist. There are only two people in my entire twitter kingdom that I knew before adding them. That’s right, I seek out random strangers who I find irrisistably interesting or enlightening, then I add them. [Read more →]

Severe pressure, like the kind that squeezes a grape to reveal the juice that is inside… It’s part of life. There will always be times of severe pressure and when we find ourselves in those stressful, pressure-chamber type situations–take a deep breath and let yourself experience it.

There is a passage in the Bible that is pretty cool. It talks about loving your neighbor and all that, but then it talks about pressure and hypocrisy. Jesus was always good that way about humbling people and making them really look at their motives.

Here’s what it says:

If someone wants to take your coat, don’t try to keep back your shirt. Give that to him as well. Give to everyone who asks and don’t ask people to return what they have taken from you.

If you love only someone who loves you, big deal. Even sinners love people who love them. If you are kind only to someone who is kind to you, will God be pleased with you for that? Even sinners are kind to people who are kind to them. If you lend money only to someone you think will pay you back, don’t think highly of yourself.

But love your enemies and be good to them. Lend without expecting to be paid back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be the true children of God.

That rocks my socks off. That means, when the pressure is on, when someone has just slammed me unjustly and I’ve got the best comeback ready to roll off my tongue, can I go somewhere within myself and find my inner peace? When I am being squeezed to the point where “what I am truly made of” is about to come out, can I make the decision to be someone else? Can I change?

I can and I have to. Because if I change, it will directly affect and bring change to others. One person really can change the world. I’m not saying it’s easy, but what I am saying is the next time you feel the pressure rising up inside of you because you are in a situation that is unfair, unjust, or just plain stressful to the maximum level…….picture yourself walking through the fire. Allow yourself to be purged of everything that is within you that you don’t like. It all comes to the surface during pressure…all the garbage.

If we can learn to view pressure and stress as an opportunity for inner cleansing, we can be the change that the world so desperately needs.

Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them. — Alan Watts.

I was reading a blog post by one of my favorite writers. He practices Zen Buddhism, which I do not, but talk about inspiring. This man really knows how to value life and to savor the richness of each moment that has been given to us.

He asks this question, “How often have you eaten a meal and not really tasted it or driven somewhere without even remembering how you got there?”

Our days often pass us by while our minds are elsewhere.

One of my favorite methods of finding happiness and preventing stress is living in the moment — It’s one of the foundations of Zen Buddhism, but it’s not necessarily meditation — it’s more the decision to become aware of your actions and thoughts, and what your senses bring in, in your every day routine.

No one actually lives in the moment all the time — I don’t think it’s possible. Some, with practice, can learn to live in the moment for longer than most of us, but there will always be times when you’re worried about the future or thinking about the past, and forget to be ‘in the moment.’

It’s actually pretty hard, if you give it a try. Test it out right now: close your eyes (after reading these instructions first), and concentrate on your breathing — the sensation of the air as it enters your nose or mouth and fills your lungs, and as it goes out again. If other thoughts come up, be aware of them, acknowledge them, let them go (but don’t try to force them away) and then return your focus to your breathing.

It’s hard, isn’t it? Being in the moment isn’t as easy as it sounds.

It takes practice. But it can be achieved at times. To help inspire you to live in the moment, here are some great examples:

1. Cats. My cat lives in the moment. He’ll stealthily stalk an insect or lizard, as if he’s hidden in tall grass on the savanna, and then he pounces and attacks. You know he’s not thinking about what he had for breakfast or what furniture needs to be shredded later in the day. Cats (and other animals) are all about the Now. Be like a cat.
2. Yourself, lost in something. You’ve been in the moment plenty of times. Can you remember a time when you lost yourself in a task? Not lost in thought, but lost in the doing of the task itself — you were concentrating fully, you thought of nothing else. The world disappeared. It might have been work — you might have achieved that state of mind known as “flow” — or it could have been a hobby, playing sports, yardwork, fixing something, anything. Try to remember a time like that, and replicate it.
3. The immediate sensation or smell of something that takes you away. Remember how you love the smell of rain, or freshly cut grass? Think about the fact that you are a free spirit and you enjoy every moment to the fullest. Whenever you encounter a ‘now moment’, live in it…let it envelop you. Believe me, it will be worth whatever you are giving up at the time.
4. Naps and snuggling. Don’t underestimate the power of laziness. It is a sign that your body really needs regeneration. Give yourself over to the fact that you need to walk away from your deadlines. Sleep in…rest, snuggle in bed with the one you love. You will be much more productive in the long run.

Practice living the simple life. Don’t let the business of life suck you dry. There must be balance in order for you to truly prosper in your mind, emotions, spirit, and being. We only pass through here once. Isn’t it best to pass through with complete awareness and enjoyment?

This article, although altered slightly by myself, must be credited to one of my favorite writers, Leo Babauta. His website, entitled Zen Habits is one that I turn to often for ideas on destressing my thoughts and my life.

“The real voyage of discovery lies not in finding new lands, but in seeing with fresh eyes” Marcel Proust (1871-1922), French writer

We hear all of the quotes that become meaningless cliches in our minds after a while…Oh you know the ones–life is what you make it, never give up on your dreams, love is the answer, and so on….

Without trying to convince you of something that you haven’t heard a million times, may I say to you today, that these are not mere cliches. These were the passionate beliefs of people who changed the world in one way or another. They ring true and always will. Just because they have been reduced to “inspirational quotes” doesn’t mean that we should not take them to heart. Indeed we should use these words to take us higher, to another plane of thought, the place where dreams are born and hopelessness is not an option.

Are you feeling less than hopeful today? Have you lost your spark, your fire, and your tenacity somewhere down the line? New life can be breathed into your dreams, you know. Nothing is ever really dead. Dreams just go to sleep for a while.

It is not that the simple principles of love, peace, and harmony have become outdated or don’t work anymore. No, it is you that has soured over the years. The disappointments, the failures and the pain have robbed you of your convictions. What was once a hopeful and optimistic view of life has surrendered to cynical laughter at the very remembrance of ever being so naive.

There is a story in the Bible that I am particularly fond of that deals with this very issue of dead and hopeless existence. It takes place in the “valley of dry bones.” (Ezekiel 37:1-14)

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In today’s freebie-hungry society, many people are always looking for a deal. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about saving a buck whenever I can, but once in a while we need to take a moment to ask ourselves whether we are a giver or a taker on this earth.

I don’t want to be remembered as a taker. You know the type. The people who seem so nice and easy going but would knock you down and trample you underfoot to be the firs person in line if someone announced they were handing out $5 bills.

Being a taker is not an attractive quality. It’s a sign of an immature, selfish nature and people don’t really care to hang around that for very long. The ironic part of being a taker is that they inevitably end up last in life. The harder a person pushes to get what they want, the further away and more elusive it becomes.

Being a giver is not just part of our nature. It is something that must be actively developed. It’s a settling of our inner spirit and is really a part of self discipline. The best way to keep a conscious awareness of being a giver is to think of these two words “add value.” Everywhere we go, everyone we come into contact with, ask this question, “Did I just ADD value to that person or situation, or did I take it away.” This takes diligence and a focused effort, but the good news is that once this way of thinking is practiced for a few weeks, it will become a part of who we are.

The fun part about adding value to a person’s life is that if it’s a stranger, it will just be a blip….an isolated incident that has taken place in their life, but with some people it makes such a profound effect, that it is almost startling.

Once there was a man in front of me in the grocery line. Once the cashier gave him his total, he looked at his cash and change for a minute and then asked her to take a few items off the bill.

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If you’ve ever felt like you missed out on some secret deal that the rest of the world was somehow aware of, not to worry. I think there are more people that feel that way then would care to admit. This world is filled with introverts pretending to be extroverts. Why do you think there is so much Vicadin, Zoloft and Xanax filtering through our livers? I think if I took a swim in the local water management pool I’d be like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland. Warning: don’t drink the water, unless you want to experience altered states of reality. But, I digress…What I really want to say is welcome aboard. There’s always an alternate bus around here, second chances, non-judgemental attitudes, and a basic appreciation for the path we are currently on.

Destinations and possibilities are endless around here. This site was created for those that feel they are too young to be taken seriously, too old to matter, or somewhere in the middle. Life itself is the golden ticket and you are only going to be at this particular place, reading this particular word of advice, once. (unless of course, you purposely backtracked and read it again just to prove me wrong…in which case, I like your style)

Bottom line here? Anything can happen, enjoy the ride, notice the small things, take mental pictures, smile often, and live guilt free. Sound like a cheap version of a Disney fairy tale? Well, you can always click away you know…or you can find your happy place and stick around. Good things happen around here.

“Homelessness is an inadequate experience of connectedness with family and or community.”

This definition comes from a homeless website and forum I belong to. If homelessness was merely the lack of a place to rest your head at night, wouldn’t all of the homeless shelters be overcrowded? Amazingly, they are not.

Well, I guess that is too vague… Homelessness comes in different forms and I am sure that there are people, especially in today’s economy, that have found themselves to be temporarily homeless, and for them the definition really is the simple fact that they don’t have a place to lay their head at the end of the day.

But homelessness, as in the form I am speaking of is becoming more of an epidemic every day. Read the definition again and really think about it…  “an inadequate experience of connectedness with family and / or community.” I live in a 3,000 square foot, two story house but that quote could describe me at times.

I remember when I was a teenager and lived in my first apartment. After an extremely abusive childhood I thought that moving away from my mother and grandfather would be the beginning of a new and wonderful life. It was, in a way. I had a good sales job right from the start and could support myself without even needing a room mate, although I’ve had my share of those as well. Being an only child, I wasn’t ever really lonely when I lived on my own, but I do distinctly remember nights that for whatever reason, I would become extremely sad. Curled up in my bed, cats purring by my side, I remember crying myself to sleep. Every time this would happen to me I would say the exact same thing (out loud) between my sobs. “I want to go home…I just want to go home.” Now you psychologists out there might think I was on the brink of suicide and “home” meant death…but that’s not true. “I want to go home” had a very clear meaning in my mind’s eye. “Home.” I wanted to find that happy, carefree, connected place where people loved me, parents hugged me, and someone was always there to kiss my boo-boos.

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I’m tired of shallow people who find some sort of sick sense of self worth by the material possessions they have accumulated. I like to live a simple life. My goal has always been to escape materialism.

Western ideology and it’s ever prevalent way of thinking that “money can’t buy you happiness, but I’d sure like to try” is old, worn out, and really should be over by now. People don’t have caring and meaningful lives, they have caring and meaningful moments where they do something fairly good for another human being and pat themselves on the back for a job well done for weeks to come.

I like to work at the soup kitchen. I like to bring my teenage daughters. They get into it. But here’s the catch…they don’t get into it because they feel like they are doing some sort of “humanitarian volunteer work” that gives them brownie points with karma or the powers that be…. They like it because the people who come to eat at the soup kitchen are interesting to talk to, polite, and generally nice people who we like to be around.

Once, when I was discussing the soup kitchen thing with my step-daughter who is 8, she just didn’t get it. Maybe one day she will, but since she spends half of her time with another set of parents who place value on i-phones, coach purses, and every designer brand of clothes humanly possible, it doesn’t sink in for her yet. I feel bad for her. She told me that she wanted to work at the soup kitchen with us because it would be fun. She then went on to explain that she had recently seen a homeless….”er, um, less fortunate” person sleeping in a park. Yes, she corrected herself to say, “less fortunate”…..that must have been her mother’s coaching. It made me laugh inside though as I pondered the reality of who the less fortunate of western society really are? In my opinion, they are the shallow individuals who use shopping as therapy and a replacement for human contact.

I’d rather hug someone who slept outside last night then look at another plastic person in the mall asking me if she can spray me with the latest hundred dollar perfume sample. Yes, and while you’re at it, spray yourself in the eyes so you can actually FEEL something today that isn’t part of a sad, matrix-like, existence. Ok, well I’m sounding rather bitter now, and actually I feel sorry for the plastic girl with the perfume samples. She has no idea that her life is eroding and wasting away around her meaningless existence. But her fake smile is very, very, red and shiny…so maybe that’s a plus.

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The first full moon of 2009, occurred tonight. They say it is the largest and brightest of the year.

I wish I would have known about this emotional spectacle before embarking on my day today. Along with the range of emotions individuals experience during full moons, this particular one is said to be in the moody, nurturing Cancer, which triggers our deep desire for family bonds and safety.

Full moons, at least for the girls in my family (I have two teenage daughters) dump emotional buckets, and Cancer is the most known for this weepy, melancholy state.

That piece of information would have been quite useful when I drove my daughter to surprise her with a hair cut on the day after her birthday and she sat in the back seat of the car having a complete breakdown, crying hysterically because her (less than nurturing birth father) did not call or write to wish her a happy day. Mascara running down her face, I hugged her and tried to help the moment pass.

After the hair cut, we enjoyed lunch together. Our topic of conversation went from the fact that my 15 year old daughter was upset because she didn’t know what career path she wanted to choose, and nothing seemed particularly meaningful, to the fact that she didn’t have names for her children picked out yet….(no she’s not pregnant and does not have children)… It got better… Faith again cried because she wanted to spend more time with me than she does and she wants to be my little girl (she just turned 14). I did in fact make a mental note to be more available for her from this point on.

Then, both daughters discussed (in my presence) exactly WHO was going to walk them down the aisle someday because they felt their father did not deserve this honor….Oh, and as an added bonus, my 15 year old (Holly) confided in me that the reason she hasn’t dated more than one person as of yet is because “what’s the point?”…. Confused, I asked her to explain…. “Well, it’s like you always said mommy, if you really can’t see yourself marrying this person someday…I mean, if you don’t think it could ever amount to anything, then why date. It’s kind of a waste of time.” At that one moment, I felt, more proud than I have in years. Yes, I am a good mother. I have made mistakes, but I have instilled in my children some quirky yet unique thought processes.

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